OCTOBER Saturday 18. I saw him for the first time on Saturday, eight days ago.It was my big comeback to the gym after about three months off, because the women’s showers had been out of order for a month.I started my workout around 4:20 PM, after taking a shower. I noticed I had a lot of energy and hadn’t lost much flexibility. I was amazed how fast I moved.Two men came in after me, around the same time, in a gym that was fairly empty. It must have been about 4:50 PM.I didn’t pay attention to them right away, but I was in the stretching and floor-work area, and one of them went to the power tower on my right.I turned my head, he looked friendly and smiling, so I kept him in mind.A few moments later, another man came and positioned himself between us. He had even more energy than I did. He started doing push-ups and some jump rope about eight feet from me.He first caught my eye because of his speed and focus. He had blinders on.He wasn’t paying attention to me or to anything else, which gave me the freedom to observe him as much as I wanted.Then I was intrigued because his legs were shaved, so I thought he might be a professional athlete. He must

of my mouth. His smile got wider. The left corner of my mouth was curled upward because I had done kegels all afternoon before coming [to the gym].His sister joined him a moment later. Right after that, he greeted another man I’ve seen many times before: a boxer who sometimes jumps rope or hits a ball attached to his cap, and who greeted me a few times.Despite being late and his sister waiting, he talked to another man for 10 minutes in the lobby.Then he set up his sister next to me on steps to squat with a dumbbell while he was doing handstands next to the wall with his legs apart. I admired his perfect abs which I had never seen before. I noticed that his hair was shiny, and he had an expensive looking T-shirt, a white Fly Emirates jersey with an iridescent Nike logo and blue side stripes.Then he sent his sister elsewhere, and I felt his attention come back to me for several minutes.Finally, he sat down in front of my mat, squatting, and I removed my headphones submissively.His voice and jaw trembling, he asked me if these were my usual training hours. I approved. He said he wanted me to help him with the front splits. He told me he was a former Thai boxer. I commented, “Oh, a boxer! I knew it…”. He said he could do the middle split but not the front ones due to a torn muscle. He outlined the muscle on his inner thigh. I was seeing him very close for the first time. His face seemed huge and the warmth of his chest enveloped me. I noticed his lustrous beard hairs, his thick pale skin. He was hiding his teeth. They looked brown, and he had a rudimentary tear tattoo at the corner of his left eye. My eyes fell on the Nike logo of his shirt. He told me he would like to go back to boxing. He specified that he is 38 years old. I said, “Oh, that’s old!” He repeated his demand for help. I told him we would have to see that in detail. It made him smile and we got lost in each other’s eyes for a while, both smiling. I really thought he’d ask for my phone number. But I couldn’t spot his phone. He detailed his problem, and I said that we had to make an appointment. He said: “Oh, so you do this professionally? It’s your job?” He was addressing me formally, using the “vous” pronoun.I kept smiling. I didn’t correct him. I looked over his shoulder because I saw his sister coming back. He told me he only needed 2–3 pieces of advice and made me reconfirm my availability before leaving me.I went running on a treadmill almost immediately after. I wanted to avoid him. I was overwhelmed by all the details. As I headed toward the treadmill, I passed by the little boxer and let him admire my ecstatic smile. He stayed later than usual and was very social. He always seemed to leave around 5:45, but that day he was still there a little after 6. I was waiting for him to leave before stepping down from my treadmill, so I exhausted myself for almost 40 minutes. He went to greet a tall, athletic Black man wearing fluorescent yellow shoes on the stairmaster on my right. Then he crossed the entire width of the gym to return to the lockers, gripping onto the little boxer by the shoulder.Dream 1 – The DiscmanI dreamed of him for the first time the following night.In the dream, a small man hands me a Discman, a portable CD player. He wants me either to send it somewhere or to carry it with him—maybe to train together. It’s the same model I had about 25 years ago: Philips, black and grey with a red rim. But in the dream, it is scratched. It is inside a brown square cardboard box whose lid is torn, leaving only a triangle. The Discman is a circle inside the square box, with a triangular opening.Saturday (Nov 8)I didn’t see him on Thursday, and on Saturday the 8th I arrived very late at the gym. He didn’t seem to recognize me from afar. Or maybe he was angry with me. I went, as usual, to the stretching area.A few minutes later he stood up from a seated row machine to leave, then turned around. He greeted me with a smile and a nod, and came toward me. For a moment he moved like a robot, and I didn’t know what to do with my hands, which were on my hips.He addressed me using the formal vous in French, so I asked him to switch to tu.Our conversation began when he mentioned a pain in his left shoulder that explained his absences. I quickly interrupted him to ask his name : A. I also noticed I had been mistaken: his teardrop tattoo is under his right eye, not the left.He also wasn’t hiding his teeth anymore; he had a broken front tooth and his teeth were uneven and brown.He asked me if I lived in this town. I said no, without giving any details. He said he lives here.He then asked again for help with his front splits, saying he would like to do my stretching routine with me. So I asked him if there was anything else I could help him with. That amused him and embarrassed him at the same time. He said, “We know each other now,” meaning we could take our time getting to know each other at the gym.He then abruptly asked my age. Since I didn’t answer, he added that he knew it wasn’t a question one asks women. He repeated that he was 38, “almost 40.” I joked again, as last time, saying: “Oh, that’s old.” He asked if I was younger than him, and I told him I was 49. He exclaimed that I really didn’t look it, and that he hoped he would be like me at my age.All of this made me feel like a horrible hungry cougar impatient to sink my claws and fangs into his fresh flesh.He then mentioned a pain in his lower back, and also in his neck. We talked about the places where he trains and the sports he has practiced. We practically talked only about him.He then seemed on the verge of leaving. During the whole conversation he kept his phone in his hand with a messaging app I didn’t know. When he closed it, I saw his lock screen: a picture of three children.I wished him a good weekend.WEEK 46